November 2016 (reflection).
I want to be as transparent as I can be because I am an in a process of shedding the old and moving into the new.
I am a big advocate of goddess practices but for the last 6 months my life, my mind and my time have been dedicated to my creative practice and my energy has been redirected, surrendering to a higher power. I have always felt that I had to fight to maintain my feminine energy in this world, but surrendering to the sacredness of stillness, containment and devotion through my art practice has helped me through a very difficult time.
As women, we have our own wild natures and challenges to deal with and we try to maintain balance in a world that asks us to be so many things, mostly to others, ignoring our own needs. In this caretaker, rescuing place we cannot soften and become open so we must go through another internal or spiritual death to shed our skin (often through adversity or loss) before we can function from this surrendered place.
When we meet our Spiritual energy, we connect with Kundalini or Shakti energy, and processes and habits are called to heal which is the death-rebirth cycle as described by author Clarissa Pinkola Estés in her book 'Women Who Run With The Wolves
Relationship with myself
As I let go and dived into my art Imet the Masculine force of direction and the Feminine force of creativity. The work produced created a very Mythical body of work.
I felt the divine feminine of spirit that transcended gender, culture and sexuality.
In a strange way, I felt sexless.
I realised I did not need my Jade Egg Taoist practice of Ten years* to feel my essence, so I put it away I chose to feel the heartbeat of my own connection to myself without the egg.
Eventually and thankfully, I returned to the practice, but my main connection is now tapping into creative essence through Creativity and meditation which informs other aspects of my life.
My self-imposed descent into the world of creation and spirit helped me return to meet my practice with a different level of connection to myself. Ironically, despite the external challenges I am now facing, I am choosing to be more in the world, to embrace the everyday mundane world as both a woman and an artist.
