Sometimes I feel like I am fighting my self

My intuition is something that I live by every day and its getting stronger and stronger which is resulting in a battle with me … Its like emu in the it challenges me stretches me and I feel like I am Rod hull trying to straighten what need to be ruffled and what is not for me.

Scenario one

Job proposal ..more work (it’s a recession) Iit is a Bread n Butter job ( you know the ones we do sometimes for pay the bills) but this time my body was scream it had enough of charging the for such services rendered and wanted to make a more clean living… but my FEAR was getting to me . It’s a recession, there won’t be any more work. Those of you who know my philosophy know that I do not really listen to the news or read news paper (well I don’t buy them but I do tend to read the headlines in supermarkets) anyway my ethos has always been follow your true calling no matter what because you always come through with a little faith. The same faith I seemed to be missing until old inner voice became loud and clear

the message in my gut or solar plexus was NO this isn’t for you …

just like this speaker in my head… Damn

I had to refuse the job I actually felt like I was doing a funny dance like I was two people one leg moving forward to say YES! I will do the job and the other step in back in defiance and shouting ‘enough is enough’ so I looked a picture … I declined the job, and that same afternoon a job offer double the amount came … but you guessed it again is not the job I need to do right now so I keep going until it feels right.(and you guessed it the jobs keep coming).

Now this may seem a little irresponsible but when I chart back my history and the great things I have accomplished have been through tapping into my intuition. Thus the best and most profitable decisions have been listening to my inner guidance. It has never been wrong (when I step out of the way) . However this decision isn’t always easy its actually gives me a headache and it requires 100% responsibility, accountability and some assertiveness (its hard to fight your corner when you have hungry children and a spouse starting at you so your decisions may take a lot of courage and a great deal of common sense. For example is it fear or is it your intuition when you practice history (of starving or feasting ) will let you know if you are dealing with an emotion or true guidance.

So how do we learn to tap into our intuition? by acting on small things before you make decisions for bigger choices. Again knowing the area that rocks you..ie solar plexus or the heart (the area most commonly associated with inner guidance) . Bodywork such as abdominal massage, yoga or energetic exercises, help dissipate anxiety in that area, but the best tool is Meditation that will slow your mind and give you space to listen to your inner voice. I recommend you buy (trust your vibes insert book) or my mp3 podcast of meeting your guide and intuition.

Whatever you do know that it is an interesting and sometimes uncomfortable but highly rewarding journey rock the boat .

Namaste

For the back story please see my last post.

Note 1

I realise I am still very much in shock and in grief, today I felt it. I don't really like to share how I feel on Social media (well not facebook ) because it is personal or maybe it is because I can pretend it is not real. I know well-wishers and empathic people will post because they care and are empathic but this will only make me cry more but the real truth is If I post about the grief then it becomes real that my Dad has left Earth, so I stay in limbo until I can breathe some more because every time I open up to the reality I feel my heart breaking. The pain of grief is unbearable, but this is normal this is grief and there is nothing I can do about it because in a moment I will be back to normal the door closed and the faucet closed again.

That is grief.

Goddess Archives - Oshun Day

On intuition

Grief notes

Self Care - Podcast November